Managing grief in the workplace
By Ann-Maree Moodie | smh.com.au | 12 May
It's probably one of the toughest challenges any manager will face. You take a telephone call or are pulled out of a meeting, to learn that one of your team members has been in a car accident. Or their spouse has died suddenly. Or their child is in a critical condition in hospital.
These are moments in a manager's life that are difficult to prepare for. A manager's job is to deliver results for the company, to perform to best-practice standards and to lead the team.
Being a grief counsellor isn't part of the job description, is it? Aren't these situations better managed by human resources?
There's no doubt that HR will be involved in a situation where a personal tragedy has befallen an employee. But it's also critical that the manager plays a role of leadership for the employee concerned as well as the rest of the team.
The manager will be the key contact person in the company and will therefore be the person who is seen to represent the values the company upholds. If the company's mission statement says anything about caring about its staff, the onus will be on the manager to show this intent in every aspect of how he or she deals with the incident.
"The first step is for the manager to contact the staff member to offer support and to verify facts," says Margaret Reid, the chief executive of the Employee Assistance Professional Association of Australia.
"My advice to the manager is to be prepared to listen to what the staff member has to say. Sometimes employees may want to have a cry and to confide in the manager. Don't panic if this happens, simply listen and offer comfort.
"But don't offer formal employee assistance straight away because this can appear as if the manager just wants to pass the buck," she says.
Handled appropriately, the manager will be an anchor for all team members at a time when leadership is most needed.
"How you as the manager deal with the event will be very important to the employee who has been struck by tragedy, as well as to their co-workers," says psychologist Helen Carouzos-Antoniades.
"In the longer term, it won't just be the opinion of the affected employees about how their manager responded - other eyes will be watching too. Other employees will be observing the response and making up their own minds about the company should anything happen to them in the future."
Trying to imagine what it would be like if the tragedy had happened to you is a guide as to how you should conduct yourself as a representative of the company. Sending flowers, visiting the hospital, making regular telephone calls to the employee and/or their family with offers of assistance are all appropriate. Of course, in the event that someone had died, attend the funeral.
"Keep in touch but don't call too often," Carouzos-Antoniades says. "Give the family space but offer to be available if family needs to call. Otherwise call them once a week or fortnight - the timing and regularity of calls should be after receiving permission from the family."
Victor Leong, a human resources manager with the Gosford City Council, advises managers to meet the family to offer support and assistance.
"If the workplace is under an award, the manager should also liaise with the union for the release of financial support, such as for funeral expenses," he says. "Organising a collection for the family will make other employees feel they've done something to help. But don't make phone calls too frequently as it's important to give the family some space. Choose one person from the company to liaise with the family rather than have them deal with too many people or be confused or upset by miscommunication."
Comforting and supporting other staff affected by the news will probably also be necessary. "You may even need to offer one-on-one counselling for those who are finding it difficult to cope."
Help with hard decisions
The final stage of managing a tragic event that has affected a staff member is the transition back to work.
"Timing is critical," Margaret Reid says. "Avoid asking questions too early about when the worker can be expected to return."
If you have formed a strong relationship with the employee assistance program provider assigned to the case, make sure you seek their advice on how best to manage the employee's return to work.
"Getting the provider on board can also help the manager to deal with the tougher questions involved with work," Reid says.
"For example, the provider can help managers to ascertain when is a good time to talk to the employee about going back to work.
"The provider will perform an assessment of the employee's psychological status and will be in a better position to judge the person's ability to cope with work or not.
"This equips the manager with more information about an employee's capabilities at this time, and provides guidance as to the best support required."
Ann-Maree Moodie is a management educator and the managing director of the Boardroom Consulting Group.
First published by Smh.com.au on May 12 2008
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